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Language, when you need it
Search concise C2 rules, vocabulary and speaking phrases without leaving the course to hunt through past lessons.
What it is
This is the language move of shifting a conversation from what someone is demanding (their position) to why they want it (their underlying interest), so you can find solutions neither side started with.
Form
| Form | Pattern | Model sentence |
|---|---|---|
| Name the position | You're asking for / You want + stated demand | You're asking for the whole budget signed off today. |
| Probe the interest | What's driving that? / What matters most here is… | What's really driving the rush — is it the client deadline or the board meeting? |
| Reframe the interest | So really what you need is + underlying goal | So really what you need is certainty before Thursday, not the full amount today. |
| Propose an option | What if we + option meeting the interest | What if we confirmed the figure now and released the funds next week? |
Use it when
- Negotiating a contract where both sides have dug into fixed demands
- Mediating a dispute between colleagues who keep repeating the same ask
- Handling a customer complaint that's really about respect, not the refund itself
- Breaking a deadlock in a salary or deadline negotiation
Examples
- You keep coming back to the price — is it the price itself, or the risk of going over budget?
- So the real issue isn't the seating plan, it's feeling left out of the decision.
- What if the two of you actually want the same thing, just framed differently?
- Underneath the complaint about the delay, I think what she wants is an apology.
- Let's park the number for a second — what does 'fair' look like to you here?
Watch out
✗ You say you want more money, but what you really want is respect, so I'll ignore the money.
✓ You say you want more money — is that about the amount itself, or about feeling undervalued?
Naming the interest should open a question, not dismiss the stated position outright.
✗ Why are you being so difficult about this?
✓ Help me understand what's behind the request — what would a good outcome look like for you?
A judgemental question closes the conversation instead of uncovering the interest.
✗ Fine, you can have exactly what you asked for.
✓ Let's see if there's a version of this that gets you what you actually need.
Caving to the position skips the chance to find a better shared solution.
Remember
People argue over positions; they compromise over interests.
Quick check
- 1. What's the difference between a position and an interest?
Reveal
A position is the stated demand; an interest is the underlying need or motive behind it.
- 2. Give a phrase for probing someone's interest.
Reveal
'What's driving that?' or 'What matters most here is…'
- 3. Why shouldn't you just dismiss someone's stated position?
Reveal
Because it shuts down the conversation instead of using it as a way into their real need.